第一千两百八十七章 青春恰自来
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按林年的个性，本身就是自傲中带着一丝自卑，自傲来自他本身的本事和性格，而自卑则是来源于他的家庭以及生活状况。关于这一点路明非其实挺感同身受的，寄人篱下的他本身也带着一些自卑，那是原生家庭有问题的孩子们在成长中都会染上的心理毛病。
这样的人在成长时最需要的是认同，这种认同一半来源于自身的努力，另一半来源于周围人的肯定，路明非是通过摆烂和逃避来躲避那份自卑感带来的负面情绪，而林年则是不同，他太想证明自己的价值，来否定和对抗那份自卑了，而在这个过程中，他无疑得到了一个重要人的帮助。
在那段特殊的日子里，在高中这种攀比以及价值情绪最浓厚的人生阶段，承载着年轻人思维最为敏感，想法最为飞扬的阳光明媚的日子里，还是一个执着又愚笨男孩的林年得到的最多的认同是来自小天女的。
林年那段时间从苏晓樯身上得到的认同感简直是爆棚级别的，在小天女的追求下，基本没有人拿过林年的家境开涮或者冷嘲热讽，因为当一个人无法得到某种东西的时候，旁人可以去嘲讽他的这个硬缺点，但他随手可以得到但却主动拒绝的时候，这个缺点似乎就变得可有可无了，无法成为被攻击的点。
或许那段时间林年也很感谢苏晓樯吧？自己最大的自卑硬生生被那个女孩给踩到了最深处，在该骄傲，该自信的年龄，可以肆无忌惮地去骄傲，去信心百倍。
路明非侧着头看着苏晓樯发呆，而苏晓樯似乎也注意到了他的目光，舔指肚的动作停止，抬头看了过来，不怀好意地发问，盯着***什么？你没舔你的手？
哦，不是。路明非下意识就把剩下没舔的大拇指塞嘴里了过了一遍，我是在想...算了，没什么。
苏晓樯不留痕迹地擦了擦手指上的口水痕，盯着这小子眯了眯眼，觉得他刚才绝对在想什么很不对劲的事情。
对了，小天女...
你叫我这个外号干什么？是在阴阳怪气我么？苏晓樯偏了偏头瞅着路明非，寻思自己好像没得罪他吧？
什么叫阴阳怪气，我们不一直都是这么叫你的吗？路明非觉得有些莫名其妙了。
那是以前，现在就算了吧。苏晓樯淡淡地说。
路明非顿了一下，随后就释然了。
但他还是笑着摇了摇头，其实现在叫你小天女还是没什么问题的...不过你不喜欢就算了。
所以你想问我什么问题？苏晓樯揭过了这个话题。
你觉得如果你没来卡塞尔学院，现在在干什么？
其他大学读书呗，还能在干什么？
你觉得怎么样？
什么怎么样？苏晓樯抬眸看向路明非，有什么问题就问好吧，别拐弯抹角，我不喜欢猜谜。
其实我想问的是...你后悔过接触这些稀奇古怪的事情吗？路明非双手撑着两侧的金属椅面，抬头看向这辆在漆黑的怪物食道里呼啸冲刺的列车，身后车窗外一闪而逝的深邃黑暗与白灯模糊而失真。
什么叫后悔接触？我不明白你的意思。苏晓樯沉默了一下问。
我的意思是...如果你没有来卡塞尔学院，那天没有突发奇想进那条巷子撞见倒霉催的那些事情，你现在大概率是考一个不错的国内大学，或者你爹花钱买一个国外常青藤的位置，让你去留学，然后回国好好发展吧？不管是在国内还是国外，你都还能是那个...嗯，以前的小天女，而不是像现在一样。
现在一样？现在我很差吗？苏晓樯问。
说完她又低头看了一眼自己，然后发现，哦，好像的确
挺差的。身上脏兮兮的跟矿难逃出来的矿工似的，原本都要用牛奶和精油呵护的皮肤到处都是裂口，那些灰尘和肮脏的东西几乎腌进了伤口和皮肤里，这让她情不自禁抬手擦了擦脏兮兮的手背。
也不是说很差了...只是明明能过更好的生活。路明非耸了耸肩，也把话说开了，其实他很少跟人说这种直白的话，以前唯一的人选是林年和芬格尔，虽然我不知道你平时每天在想什么，但我看得出你压力很大，你和林年，你们这两口子眉毛在我印象里几乎就没松开过，每天都跟世界末日的前一天一样忧心忡忡的。
你有没有想过，如果没来卡塞尔学院，你的日子可能过得更好...当然我的意思不是说拿你和林年现在的关系来置换那些好日子，毕竟别的大学你也可以联系林年，他也是喜欢你的，你锲而不舍一点说不定能熬到他毕业，然后把他娶回家？
苏晓樯微微低头，片刻后摇头，没有回答这个问题，反问，那你呢？你也明明可以过更好的生活，现在一样出生入死。我说句心里话，你在我看来现在跟以前已经不是一个人了，你上课纸削到手指流血都能跟林年大呼小叫好一会儿，还让他给你包扎手指，跟要死了一样...现在呢？我感觉你被捅穿肺管子都要
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