第一千三百六十二章 幻想曲-4
笔趣阁(biquge12345.com)更新快，无弹窗！
一提到自己儿女，儿子我还真的没什么感觉，男孩嘛，总不能一直待在温室里，又不是温室园丁对吧？但是女儿呢，一直都是我的软肋，我心中那一抹最温柔，假如上天要我做一道选择题，在陪伴女儿和投身事业之间只能选一个的话，我一定毫不犹豫的选择陪伴女儿。可现实就是如此的戏剧化，让我面对一个软钉子，我可以选择陪伴女儿，但是女儿却给前妻带走了。我知道如何据理力争都是没用的，若真的因此打离婚官司，怎么都是判给女方的，当时我也想过，但是后来再想，和前妻又不是因为出轨什么的，就只是再没了那种激情，再加上一点外力作用，然后还是离婚了。离婚之后，我一直单身，过着一种从前一直希望的那种退休之后没有儿女牵挂还养着一条自己喜欢的狗子的生活，感情世界的大门从此关闭，我甚至连这大门的钥匙都扔到了银海湾外海去了。却不曾想，昨晚的一场酩酊大醉，加上珊珊的感冒音，在不经意之间却又让我的内心重新起了情感还俗的涟漪。也是，在银海湾这么些年，除了开头的一年多有点阻碍之外，之后的日子不知道是不是得到了张宝的保佑，一直都算是顺风顺水，如今我也快知天命，感情大门再次重开，需要梁静茹姐姐的亲临鼓励才行。
都说戏如人生，我却在这一刻觉得还是人生如戏吧！在几乎都是同一时间里，突然让我有点心动的感冒音，还有一直都有感觉福建音，最后还有听了二十多年曾经熟悉无比现在有点陌生却又是最熟悉的陌生声音，一起发了微信语音给我，是约好的吗？就算是约好的，也不会是她们三个一起约好，而是上天的约定。这三把代表不同意思却都有殊途同归之意的声音，是要我在这一刻三选一吗？
这三把声音同时出现之前的日子，是我情感世界里最具生态平衡的时光，就在这瞬间，这种平衡貌似要给打破了。一个人之后，我觉得最能形容自己状态的是一首歌，杜德伟的《还是唱下去》，歌词是潘源良写的，完全就是我个人心路的纪实。歌词我依然记得很清楚：
人在尘俗里寻求是兴趣
一句好歌就能伴我几多山与水
情是长恨句别怀念
相爱相分骤晴骤雨再不感兴趣
不再哭只爱流愉快的泪
不再想日后陪伴我是谁
还是唱下去唱干心中泪
都有音韵跟我相对
无论错或对
我也可安睡
不去管谁在甜梦里
还是唱下去唱得多么累
都有音韵跟我相对
然后继续醉
何用继续追世间永久的伴侣
感冒音和福建音，都和我一同奋战了N个日日夜夜，将度假村带上了中国十大度假胜地的荣誉巅峰，当然了，我只是在业内有名气而对外低调，而在普罗大众对勒马度假村的认知关键词里，只有紫萱的名字，她也因此获得了不计其数的名衔。而庄可可则获得了最新锐奖，我和凤哥还有其他人呢，都心甘情愿的在后台默默耕耘。这一刻，两人的明示式的暗示，是个傻子都明白了；而前妻的直白，又是另一种不同的示意，面对这样的，我真的不知道该如何选项。
如果和感冒音或者福建音一起，我不得不又要重新面对曾经的老路，生孩子或不生孩子？生，只要对方愿意，这就是一种与权利对等的义务，然后三年之后，送孩子上幼儿园，再三年后，送孩子读书，重复着N年前送林云志和豌豆的路，只是我知道，这种感觉的重复，有点像是西西弗斯每天做的工作；不生，在这段感情里做个丁克，可是，万一对方想呢？这很残忍，剥夺了对方当母亲的权利。我又不能在确认对方的意思之后，立马抛出一句‘我想问你生不生孩子，如果生就不要在一起了吧这句在‘我愿意这么甜蜜的话之后的残忍问句。
而面对前妻，能在一瞬间就油然而生的感觉，总是如同重庆火锅那般的复杂，能吃辣，不代表一直要吃辣，现在的生活，清单闲适，不能再接受那种让你都不知道如何形容的复杂味觉，说是味觉上刺激无比，其实辣却是一种痛觉，但痛觉在某些时候也能给你逃脱不了的满足感。只是现在，我真的有点累了，在感情上的累，不是体力上的累，吃一顿睡一觉就能迅速恢复，感情上的累所产生的体内乳酸，有些人一辈子也排不完。我呢，难说，起码现在我对感冒音有了那么些感觉，至于能否让我情感还俗，也是未知数。
想了好久好久，头脑在这些信息过滤权衡之后开始清醒无比。再三确认自己的判断后，发出了信息给前妻：
‘你回来吧！房子还是那两套打通了的别墅，你爸妈和我爸妈还在那儿住。不过，我不一定会回来住，我只是不想儿子和女儿知道我们分开了。我可以和你保证的是，在那两套别墅里，我和你就是孩子眼里的父母。
‘你是有了其他感情吗？手机里迅速回问。
我笑笑，回：‘有
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